Explorations in Honesty. The Bright, Blinding Beast

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Honesty is such a gray word. One might expect something as simple and virtuous as honesty to be clean-cut, black or white, solid as a preacher’s handshake. But we don’t live in a black-and-white world. All our perceptions are blurred, smudged in shades of gray like an overused pencil eraser. True honesty—pure, unadulterated truth—would be a light too blinding, too hot, for our tender souls to endure. It would sear us to the core, leave us naked and trembling like sinners on judgment day.

And so we compromise. A little dishonesty here, a dab of self-delusion there, like smudges on a windowpane we never get around to cleaning. The world keeps spinning. We survive another day, huddled under the safety of our gray umbrellas. But would the world truly be better if everything was laid bare, if every secret and shadow were pulled into the bright light of truth? Imagine knowing everything about everyone, every unspoken thought, every concealed motive. I reckon most of us would collapse under the weight of such clarity.

We know the truth—or at least enough of it to make us uncomfortable—but we turn our heads, squint our eyes, and go on pretending. Life is softer when seen through the soothing haze of gray-tinted spectacles.

Now, let’s throw a twist into the tale: What if honesty had an accountant? A celestial bookkeeper armed with a ledger, tallying our truths and lies, ready to hand out report cards at the pearly gates. Would the grading scale be generous, or would our fibs and fabrications drag us into eternal summer school? Would lies told to others weigh heavier than those we whisper to ourselves, or would self-deception tip the scales?

And here’s a tricky thought: If we believe a lie with all our hearts, does it become truth? The lines blur, the gray deepens. We sit, tangled in a web of truths and lies, not quite sure which is which, wrong about most, and blissfully unaware of the rest.

As we age, the layers of gray deepen, but so does our wisdom—or perhaps just our weariness. What is true today might crumble under tomorrow’s scrutiny. History, when it finally reveals itself, paints in bold, unflinching colors. When all is said and done, when the truths and lies of our lives are no longer ours to guard, the black and white of it becomes stunningly, painfully clear.

But by then, it’s too late. The light we feared, the light we dodged, no longer burns. It merely illuminates the story of who we were, and all we can do is hope it was worth telling.


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