Let’s face it, folks: the biggest villain in your life isn’t a narcissist, a politician, your ex, your husband, or your parents. The call is coming from inside the house—it’s “you”. Yes, you.
You’re the one who’s tolerated the nonsense, excused the bad behavior, and maybe even polished it up to make it look presentable. And why? Because it’s easier to blame the world than to look in the mirror.
Now, some will say this is harsh. “That’s not very nice,” they’ll whine. To that, I say: “balderdash” Before we had the term “narcissist,” we called them what they were: Sons of Bitches. Slap a fancy name on it, give it a clinical diagnosis, and suddenly we feel better about getting trampled. But let’s drop the euphemisms. Call ‘em what they are. Sons of bitches.
Here’s the thing: no son of a bitch has power over you unless you hand it to them on a silver platter—or worse, marry them and throw in the good china. If one gets in your way, you have two choices. The dramatic choice is to pick up a metaphorical baseball bat and wallop them out of your path. But most of the time, the smarter choice is to sidestep them entirely. Walk away. Step around the puddle of misery and don’t look back.
If you’ve tied yourself to a real piece of work, the kind that makes your life a living hell, then you’ve got to play it smart. Some of these SOBs are relatively harmless—they’ll ruin your day but not your life. Others, though, are dangerous, the kind who’ll burn the house down just to see you go up in flames. Those are the ones you need to outthink, outmaneuver, and, if necessary, outgun. Yes, sometimes you’ll need the law, a restraining order, or a friend with muscle to back you up. But one way or another, you’ve got to end the madness.
The first step? Realize you can leave. That’s right—”you can” You’re not trapped; you’re complicit. You’re sticking around because, deep down, you like the drama. You like the thrill. Maybe it makes you feel alive. But let me tell you, if that’s the case, you’re as rotten as they are. You’ve let them turn you into a willing victim because it’s easier to stay in denial than to admit the truth: you’re being used. Worse, you like it.
Now, not every SOB is the same. Some have just enough common sense not to torch the whole ship with themselves on board. Others? They’ll light the match and grin as the world burns. You’ve got to figure out which type you’re dealing with. If it’s the latter, you’d better get some backup, whether it’s a badge, a friend, or a brick in your hand. But whatever you do, “don’t stay.” Staying will kill you, maybe fast, maybe slow, but dead is dead.
Most of the time, the solution is simple: pack your bags and walk out the door. Don’t have money? Find a friend, a shelter, or even a park bench if it comes to that. The moment you leave, your new life begins. You can rebuild. You can start fresh. But you have to take that first step.
Look, I’m no shrink or saint. I’m just a guy who’s dealt with enough SOBs to know that sometimes you throw a punch, sometimes you walk away, but you never, ever let them think they own you.
The real problem? It’s not them. It’s you, sitting in the river of denial, convincing yourself this is normal.
It’s not. Get out of the water. Life’s waiting on the shore.
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One of my Favorite songs with a comedy take.