Imagine you’re sitting on a quiet riverbank, pondering the nature of people and their peculiar ways. Mark Twain might tell you, with a twinkle in his eye, that folks are like steamboats—always running their engines, puffing smoke, and trying to steer others downstream. But here’s the twist: some boats whistle loud and try to push, while others float quietly, letting the current draw others toward them. That’s the difference between persuasion and influence—a tale as old as time, but told here with a new kind of charm and simplicity.
- Difference Between Influence and Persuasion:
- Persuasion involves actively putting energy into changing someone’s mind or behavior.
- Influence is passive and occurs when you occupy a mental space in someone’s mind without active effort.
- Frameworks and Sub-frameworks (see Extra Credit below) :
- Frameworks work like nesting dolls, where larger frameworks contain smaller sub-frameworks.
- Mastering influence involves understanding these layered frameworks.
- Sense-Making Framework:
- Avoidance: Relationships begin with an instinct to avoid what is new or unfamiliar.
- Competition : Energy and interaction (even disagreement) build the relationship.
- Compliance : Establishing a dynamic where roles and power are understood.
- “Know, Like, Trust” (KLT):
- Discovery: Awareness of a person or concept.
- Like: Building a connection through interaction and investment of time and energy.
- Trust: Trust evolves naturally through prolonged interaction, even without strong liking.
- Trust’s Complexity:
- Trust doesn’t necessarily mean positive feelings. It represents predictability in behavior, whether good or bad.
- Practical Steps for Building Influence:
- Overcome avoidance by initiating engagement.
- Compete constructively by sharing ideas and energy.
- Foster compliance through understanding and mutual agreement.
- Natural Progression of Trust:
- People “fall into trust” over time, often without realizing it.
- Even relationships with negative emotions can involve trust based on predictability.
- Trust vs. Liking:
- Trust can exist without liking. People may trust others to act predictably, even if those actions are negative.
The speaker effectively explains how influence is built on relationships, energy investment, and predictability, showing that influence is not just about persuasion but about creating lasting mental associations and trust.
Bringing It All Together
Influence isn’t about quick wins; it’s about creating a foundation of trust and understanding. By working through avoidance, competition, and compliance, you lay the groundwork for meaningful relationships. Whether you’re building trust slowly over time or persuading in the moment, the ultimate goal is the same: creating connections that matter. With these tools, you’re better equipped to navigate the complexities of human interaction and achieve the results you’re aiming for.
Extra Credit
What Are Frameworks?
Frameworks are structured systems or models that help us understand, navigate, and achieve specific goals. Think of a framework as a roadmap or guide that breaks a complex process into manageable steps, making it easier to follow and implement. In the context of human interaction, frameworks provide a way to understand how relationships and influence develop over time.
Key Elements of a Framework
- Structure: Frameworks give structure to abstract ideas. They often include steps, phases, or components that work together to achieve a goal.
- Simplicity: By organizing complicated concepts into a series of steps, frameworks make them more accessible and actionable.
- Adaptability: Frameworks can be tailored to fit various situations, whether you’re building trust in a friendship, negotiating in business, or creating influence on a larger scale.
- Guidance: They offer a way to measure progress and identify areas where more effort or focus is needed.
The Human Interaction Frameworks Explained
- Sense-Making Framework
- This framework helps you navigate the stages of a relationship. It identifies where you are in the process and what steps to take next.
- Phases:
- Avoidance: The initial phase, where new or unfamiliar people are avoided until trust starts to form.
- Competition: A phase of interaction and exchange (e.g., sharing ideas, debating) where energy is invested into the relationship.
- Compliance: The final phase, where roles and dynamics are clear, and mutual understanding is achieved.
- Know, Like, Trust (KLT) Framework
- This is a progression that moves people from awareness to trust.
- Steps:
- Know: People must first become aware of you or your idea.
- Like: After knowing, they decide whether they like you based on interactions and experiences.
- Trust: Over time, trust is built, even without complete agreement, through predictability and consistent interactions.
How Frameworks Work Together
Frameworks often overlap and interconnect. For example, the Sense-Making Framework feeds into Know, Like, Trust by moving someone from avoidance (not knowing you) to compliance (trust). The interconnectedness of frameworks ensures that they build on each other, much like steps in a staircase leading to the larger goal of influence.
Why Frameworks Matter
- Efficiency: They save time by providing a clear path forward.
- Clarity: They help you identify and resolve challenges at specific stages.
- Scalability: Frameworks can be applied to one-on-one relationships or large-scale influence campaigns.
- Predictability: They allow you to anticipate outcomes and adjust your approach as needed.
Frameworks are like tools in a toolbox—each one has a specific purpose, but they all work together to help you build something stronger, whether it’s trust, influence, or lasting relationships. By understanding and applying them, you can navigate human interactions with greater confidence and success.
