Imagine you’re sitting on a quiet riverbank, pondering the nature of people and their peculiar ways. Mark Twain might tell you, with a twinkle in his eye, that folks are like steamboats—always running their engines, puffing smoke, and trying to steer others downstream. But here’s the twist: some boats whistle loud and try to push, while others float quietly, letting the current draw others toward them. That’s the difference between persuasion and influence—a tale as old as time, but told here with a new kind of charm and simplicity.
- Difference Between Influence and Persuasion:
- Persuasion involves actively putting energy into changing someone’s mind or behavior.
- Influence is passive and occurs when you occupy a mental space in someone’s mind without active effort.
- Frameworks and Sub-frameworks (see Extra Credit below) :
- Frameworks work like nesting dolls, where larger frameworks contain smaller sub-frameworks.
- Mastering influence involves understanding these layered frameworks.
- Sense-Making Framework:
- Avoidance: Relationships begin with an instinct to avoid what is new or unfamiliar.
- Competition : Energy and interaction (even disagreement) build the relationship.
- Compliance : Establishing a dynamic where roles and power are understood.
- “Know, Like, Trust” (KLT):
- Discovery: Awareness of a person or concept.
- Like: Building a connection through interaction and investment of time and energy.
- Trust: Trust evolves naturally through prolonged interaction, even without strong liking.
- Trust’s Complexity:
- Trust doesn’t necessarily mean positive feelings. It represents predictability in behavior, whether good or bad.
- Practical Steps for Building Influence:
- Overcome avoidance by initiating engagement.
- Compete constructively by sharing ideas and energy.
- Foster compliance through understanding and mutual agreement.
- Natural Progression of Trust:
- People “fall into trust” over time, often without realizing it.
- Even relationships with negative emotions can involve trust based on predictability.
- Trust vs. Liking:
- Trust can exist without liking. People may trust others to act predictably, even if those actions are negative.
The speaker effectively explains how influence is built on relationships, energy investment, and predictability, showing that influence is not just about persuasion but about creating lasting mental associations and trust.
Bringing It All Together
Influence isn’t about quick wins; it’s about creating a foundation of trust and understanding. By working through avoidance, competition, and compliance, you lay the groundwork for meaningful relationships. Whether you’re building trust slowly over time or persuading in the moment, the ultimate goal is the same: creating connections that matter. With these tools, you’re better equipped to navigate the complexities of human interaction and achieve the results you’re aiming for.
Extra Credit
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