Checks from the Crypt: How Washington Became the Dead’s Favorite ATM

Ladies and gentlemen, gather around, for I have a tale as American as apple pie and as absurd as a screen door on a submarine. I may have to add a section to this blog called Believe it or Not!. It’s a story about money—your money—taking a scenic tour through the great bureaucracy of Washington, only to land squarely in the hands of folks who, I assure you, have no use for it. Why? Because they’re dead.

Yes, in this fine land of ours, we have managed the remarkable feat of keeping the dead on payroll. While most of us living folks wrestle with taxes, inflation, and the occasional empty gas tank, our dearly departed are out there cashing government checks as if they’re planning a shopping spree in the afterlife. The Social Security Administration, in its infinite wisdom, keeps a list of the deceased—but, bless their hearts, they seem to think it’s a state secret, refusing to share it with the rest of the government. The result? Fraudsters feast, taxpayers foot the bill, and Uncle Sam plays the role of the world’s most generous ghost benefactor.

Now, I don’t claim to be smartest guy in the world but even a half-witted possum could figure out that this is a fixable problem, that should never have happened.. And yet, the government, in all its red-tape glory, acts like stopping these payouts is akin to lassoing the wind. Well, I say, it’s time we stopped debating who should be taxed more and started asking, “What the devil happened to the money we already gave you?”

Some people in Washington will tell us that fixing this mess is just too complicated. They’ll shake their heads and say, “Well, you see, the system is very delicate. We can’t just go messing with it.” That’s government-speak for “We don’t want to, because it’s not our money we’re wasting.”

But let’s call this what it is—a crime against common sense. I can understand a debate about the finer points of policy, like whether we should pave our roads with asphalt or with promises. But paying the dead? That’s a level of foolishness so high, even a crow with a map couldn’t find it.

So, my dear friends, I am here to tell you that this will not stand. No sir. Not on my watch. I may not be able to stop the rain, or the mosquitoes, or the occasional congressman from talking nonsense, but by thunder, I can put a stop to dead folks getting richer than the living. And if Washington doesn’t want to do it, well, then they ought to at least admit what they’ve become—the world’s first government-run séance, cutting checks to the great beyond.

So here I will summarize a video from the senate

Senator John Kennedy from Louisiana, accompanied by colleagues from his Senate office, addressed the Senate regarding the importance of reducing wasteful government spending. He emphasized the need for a more efficient federal government and pointed out that every dollar spent has a constituency that will fight to keep it. However, he noted that there is one group that cannot fight back—dead people.

Issue of Payments to Deceased Individuals:

The senator revealed that in fiscal year 2023 alone, the U.S. government sent $1.3 billion in checks to deceased individuals, according to the Office of Management and Budget. Not only are these checks being issued, but they are also being cashed fraudulently.

While instances of deceased individuals allegedly voting have been widely debated, the senator argued that the act of cashing checks in their names represents clear fraud and highlights systemic inefficiencies in government processes.

How the Problem Occurs:

When a person dies, their name is sent to the Vital Records Office in their respective state.
The Social Security Administration (SSA) pays states to obtain lists of deceased individuals.
The SSA compiles these names into a database called the Death Master File (DMF).
The SSA uses this data internally to stop sending benefits to deceased individuals.

However, the SSA refuses to share this list with other federal agencies, such as the Department of Treasury, which is responsible for issuing checks, or the Small Business Administration (SBA), which also disburses funds.

Examples of Fraudulent Payments:

COVID-19 Relief Funds: During the pandemic, $1.4 billion in stimulus checks were sent to deceased individuals, many of which were successfully cashed.
Paycheck Protection Program (PPP): $38 million was paid out fraudulently using deceased persons’ Social Security numbers.
Economic Injury Disaster Loan Program: This program, designed to help struggling businesses during the pandemic, also saw payments made to the deceased.
Veterans Affairs (VA) Fraud Cases:
- A fraudster stole the Social Security number of a deceased veteran and received $825,000 in benefits from 1997 to 2024.
- A woman in Ohio collected her deceased mother’s VA benefits for 48 years before being caught.

The Data Problem – Overstated Number of Elderly Americans:

The senator highlighted that, according to the SSA’s records, there are 6.5 million Americans aged 112 years or older. However, demographic data suggests that at any given time, there are only about 40 people in the entire world who reach that age. This discrepancy showcases how outdated and inaccurate government databases are.

Attempts to Solve the Issue:

2017-2020 Legislative Efforts:
- The senator worked with Senator Tom Carper to push for a solution.
- The Stopping Improper Payments to Deceased People Act was passed in 2020.
- This law required the SSA to share the Death Master File with other agencies—but only as a three-year trial program.
The Need for Permanent Reform:
- Since the law expires in 2026, the senator and his colleagues have introduced a new bill: Ending Improper Payments to Deceased People Act.
- The bill aims to make the program permanent and ensure ongoing data sharing.
- The main obstacle has been bureaucratic resistance and disagreements over funding logistics.

The Urgency of Action:

The senator stressed that stopping payments to the deceased should not be controversial. Unlike debates over taxation, healthcare, or military spending, this issue represents clear, preventable fraud. With government funding often a subject of fierce political debate, ensuring that money is not wasted on fraudulent payments to deceased individuals should be a bipartisan priority.

Though he does not plan to push for the bill’s passage this year due to other legislative priorities (such as funding bills and national defense), he vowed to reintroduce it in the next Congress, comparing himself to The Terminator with his commitment to the cause.

His final message was clear: We can debate about deceased people voting, but cashing checks is a bridge too far.