The Art of Choosing What You Need Over What You Want (In Jobs, Relationships, and Careers)
Life doesn’t always hand you the lobster dinner you had your heart set on. Sometimes, you get chicken. Plain, ordinary chicken. And whether you’re talking about your job, your relationships, or even your whole career path — learning how to appreciate the chicken while still dreaming of lobster might just be the secret to keeping your sanity intact.
Don’t get me wrong — there’s nothing wrong with wanting lobster. Dream big, aim high, all that good stuff. But if today’s menu is chicken, that doesn’t mean you’re losing. It just means you’re learning. The people who figure out how to season the simple stuff — they’re the ones who get through life with their sanity intact. Because at the end of the day, it’s not about what’s on your plate. It’s about how you show up to the table.
There’s a simple truth that life teaches us over and over again — sometimes you have to settle for chicken when you can’t have lobster. It’s not a failure, it’s not giving up, and it’s not a sign that you’ve stopped dreaming. It’s wisdom. It’s survival. It’s the art of knowing the difference between what you want and what you actually need.
Wants vs. Needs: The Balancing Act
Most of us would love to dine on life’s equivalent of lobster every day — the dream job, the perfect partner, the luxury home, the ideal lifestyle. Those desires are natural. They drive us, inspire us, and give us something to reach for.
But life doesn’t always serve lobster. Sometimes, life puts chicken on the table — plain, simple, reliable chicken. And sometimes, chicken is exactly what you need to get by, to build your strength, and to prepare for the day lobster is back on the menu.
The challenge isn’t just knowing the difference between wants and needs — it’s making peace with choosing what you need even when your heart aches for what you want.
Why Settling Isn’t Losing
The word settling often gets a bad reputation. People equate it with giving up, with lowering standards, or with losing hope. But real settling — the kind that’s rooted in self-awareness — is none of those things. It’s about recognizing what the situation calls for, and adjusting your expectations to match reality.
You don’t have to give up on lobster forever. But if all you have is chicken today, you can either waste time complaining about what’s missing — or you can season that chicken, cook it to perfection, and enjoy every bite.
The Power in Choosing What’s Available
When you learn to settle with grace, you unlock a quiet kind of power. You stop resenting reality and start working with it. You become resourceful, resilient, and creative. You find ways to be content — even happy — with what’s in front of you.
And here’s the real magic: Sometimes, when you stop chasing lobster, you realize chicken has its own kind of flavor. Maybe it’s not the luxury meal you imagined, but it’s nourishing. It’s enough.
A Personal Story: Whoppers, Gas Money, and Hard Lessons
I learned this lesson the hard way.
I was young, running a growing computer service business that was starting to take off — but positive cash flow was still a fantasy. One Friday, reality slapped me upside the head. I had exactly $5 in my pocket, an empty gas tank, and no credit cards to fall back on. Borrowing money wasn’t really an option — not without feeling like a fool.
I was starving.
Thankfully, gas was cheap back then, and Whoppers were a dollar. I split my fortune: $2.50 for gas, $2.50 for food. Two 99 cent Chicken Sandwiches, one for now, one for later and a coke no ice with free refill. Put gas in car, then I swung by my sister’s house for a free meal and some moral support.
The next day, I visited a customer who owned a restaurant — ate there, sold them something (even though the money wouldn’t come right away), and then hit up another sister for dinner.
Somehow, I made it to Monday, when the money finally cleared. No one knew I was broke till today that you read this.
I swore to myself that I’d never let myself get into that situation again. But here’s the truth — those desperate days were some of the most important lessons of my life. They taught me that life doesn’t always give you the luxury meal, and sometimes you survive on scraps and hustle. The question is — how many times does life have to hit you over the head before you finally get the message?
Jobs: When the Dream Job’s Out of Reach
We all have that vision — the corner office, the job that pays ridiculous money for work you’d happily do for free, where the coffee machine never breaks, and your boss thinks you’re a genius. That’s the lobster job.
But reality? Sometimes you’re clocking in at a job that barely covers rent, working under a manager who thinks Excel is a personality test, and wondering if this is really what all that schooling was for.
That’s the chicken job — not glamorous, not the dream — but it’s what’s on the table right now. And if you approach it right, you’ll realize chicken jobs still teach you things. They teach grit, patience, and sometimes, they lead to better things. Because knowing how to work with what you’ve got is a skill you’ll use for the rest of your life.
Relationships: Love Isn’t Always Lobster and Champagne
Romantic movies lied to us. They made us think love is always fireworks, perfect timing, and someone who just gets you. That’s the lobster romance — rare, expensive, and not always available.
In reality, sometimes love looks more like a dependable partner who knows how you take your coffee and helps you find your phone when you’ve lost it for the third time that day. It’s not always grand gestures — sometimes it’s comfort, consistency, and someone who’s there when things get messy.
Is it settling? Not if you choose wisely. Chicken love — the steady, real kind — can be just as satisfying as lobster love, if you season it with kindness, humor, and a lot of patience.
Careers: The Long Road to Finding Your Flavor
Careers are rarely a straight line. Maybe you wanted to be a world-famous chef but ended up in accounting. Maybe you dreamed of running your own company but somehow became an expert in PowerPoint animations. Careers zig-zag, stall, and sometimes take detours you never expected.
That’s not failure — that’s the chicken path. It’s not always the one you imagined, but it keeps you moving, keeps you learning, and if you stay open to it, sometimes it surprises you. Some of the happiest, most successful people didn’t start where they ended up — they just learned to season their chicken along the way.
The Real Art: Settling Without Giving Up
Now, don’t get me wrong — this isn’t about abandoning your dreams. It’s about learning when to adjust your order. Some seasons call for ambition and risk, going after lobster with both hands. Other seasons? They call for appreciating the chicken on your plate, knowing it’s what you need right now to stay fed, stay sane, and keep moving forward.
The real art — in work, in love, in life — is knowing that settling isn’t the same as surrender. It’s about working with what you’ve got today, without forgetting what you’re capable of tomorrow.
Final Thoughts
So whether you’re job-hunting, dating, or figuring out where your career is going — don’t be afraid of a little chicken now and then. Season it well, chew with gratitude, and keep your eyes open. Because you never know — sometimes the best meals aren’t the fancy ones. Sometimes, it’s the simple ones that keep you strong enough to chase the next dream
Read the EXTRA CREDIT below to learn how to go for the lobster.
EXTRA CREDIT
Life, Investing, and Baseball: Winning by Avoiding Mistakes
WIN/WIN: The Sweet Spot of Success (Update Version)
SUCCESS – It Wears Many Faces, But the Road’s Always Dusty
Tools for Success – First Principles and Critical Thinking
Success is a science; if you have the conditions, you get the result
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