We all have this need for other people’s approval. A man/woman can know their right, have the facts in hand, and still wait for a nod from the crowd before taking a single step. We tiptoe through life afraid to offend folks who wouldn’t visit our grave if we dropped dead tomorrow. And all the while, we trade our freedom for applause like it’s some grand bargain.
Chasing validation is like chasing your own shadow—it’ll dance just out of reach, tire you out, and leave you looking like a fool in the noon sun. You don’t need everyone’s blessing to live your life. You just need the courage to live it
The trouble with most people is they spend too much time polishing the outside of their lives for other people to admire and not nearly enough time fixing the crooked beams on the inside. But here’s the rub: the applause fades, the crowd moves on, and all that’s left is you—and whether you can sleep at night in your own skin.
So quit begging for a gold star from folks who don’t even carry pens. Live loud, live true, and if someone disapproves, let ’em. That disapproval won’t kill you—but living someone else’s idea of your life just might.
Let’s work on the problem.
Have you ever second-guessed yourself because you worried what someone else might think? Maybe you stayed quiet when you had something to say. Or dimmed your light so someone else wouldn’t feel uncomfortable. We’ve all done it.
But here’s the truth: Not everyone will support your goals or agree with your choices—and that’s okay.
Living for others’ approval is like trying to walk a straight line on shifting sand. The more you chase acceptance, the more distant it feels. Because no matter what you do, someone will always disapprove.
So stop trying to be understood by everyone.
Start choosing you.
Why We Crave Validation
Validation isn’t inherently bad. It feels good to be seen, liked, and encouraged. It’s part of how we’re wired. But problems arise when it becomes a need instead of a preference—when your sense of worth hinges on how people react.
Here’s what happens when you rely on others’ approval:
- You delay decisions waiting for everyone to agree.
- You change your opinions to match the room.
- You fear criticism more than failure.
- You live a life that looks good on the outside but feels wrong on the inside.
The antidote? Self-trust. Confidence. And a strong connection to your own values.
Practical Ways to Stop Seeking Approval
Here are some real-world, doable actions that help shift your mindset:
1. Start with Self-Validation
When you make a decision, ask: “Do I feel good about this? Does it align with my values?” If the answer is yes, that’s your green light—regardless of outside opinions.
2. Practice Saying ‘No’ Without Over-Explaining
You don’t owe anyone a novel for why you can’t attend their event or take on their project. “No, thank you,” is a full sentence.
3. Limit Social Media Scrolls
We often compare our behind-the-scenes to everyone else’s highlight reel. Reduce the noise. Give your brain a break from chasing likes and curated perfection.
4. Create a Personal Value Statement
Write down 3–5 things that matter most to you (e.g., freedom, creativity, integrity). Post them somewhere visible. Use them as your internal compass when making choices.
5. Journaling Prompt:
“What would I do if I wasn’t afraid of what anyone thought?”
Answer honestly. That’s where your truth lives.
7-Day Self-Validation Challenge
Think of this as a reset—a way to retrain your brain to stop outsourcing approval and start looking inward.
🔹 Day 1 – Go 24 hours without explaining your choices to anyone. Just do you.
🔹 Day 2 – Post something online without checking likes, views, or responses.
🔹 Day 3 – Wear an outfit that makes you feel good, even if it’s not “on trend.”
🔹 Day 4 – Say no to something you don’t want to do—and don’t apologize for it.
🔹 Day 5 – Write a list of 10 things you admire about yourself. Read it out loud.
🔹 Day 6 – Try something new without asking for permission or feedback first.
🔹 Day 7 – Do something bold and personal—something that feels like a statement: “This is who I am.”
Final Thought
You weren’t born to be a reflection of others’ expectations. You were born to be you. Unapologetically. Authentically. Boldly.
So next time you’re tempted to ask for someone’s approval, pause—and give it to yourself instead.
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