Gather Around, son, and listen close—because I ain’t here to butter your toast. Life ain’t a fairy tale, and it sure as hell don’t come with a return policy. It’s a crooked card game in a smoky saloon, and everyone’s bluffing with a smile.
A woman might wear less than a summer breeze but cover up quick when eyes linger too long—not outta shame, no sir—but because she fears the poor might gawk and the rich might not. It’s a tightrope between attention and approval, and the fall is always social.
When a man asks what you do for a living, he’s not curious—he’s calculating. He wants to know if he should tip his hat or check his watch. And when he asks where you live, he’s not making conversation—he’s running the zip code through a mental calculator to see if you’re worth networking or avoiding.
Now listen carefully here—never spill your whole past to a close friend. Not because they’ll betray you. No, it’s worse—they’ll confide in someone else who’ll spill it for free. Secrets are like whiskey: best served neat and rarely.
And when you sit for supper with three or more folks, leave the skeletons in the closet. Too many ears and not enough loyalty. More than five? Don’t talk business either—someone’s always got a fork in the pie and a plan behind the smile.
You want a favor? Don’t ask empty-handed. Bring a gift, even if it’s small. They might wave it off, sure—but they’ll remember you had the sense to offer. That’s the true handshake.
And now comes the part that’ll sting, but truth don’t care for your feelings.
If a woman’s broke, 99 outta 100 men will find a way to help her stand. Might be pride, might be nature, or just the wiring of fools. But if a man’s broke? 99 outta 100 women will find a way to walk past him like he’s yesterday’s newspaper in the rain.
You may not believe it. You may argue, protest, call it cynical. But step out into the world with your eyes open, and you’ll see it written on billboards, whispered in handshakes, and scrawled on the back of every “How are you?” that really means “Are you worth my time?”
That, friend, is the reality of life. Ain’t fair. Ain’t noble. But it’s real. And sometimes, that’s all the truth we get.
So cut through the BS—because you can’t bullshit a bullshitter.
You may not agree with me now, but you will.
Because life is what it is, not what you want.
EXTRA CREDIT
So You Want to Change the World, Kid?
The Eternal Tug-of-War Between Men and Women
Why Do People Accept Poverty?
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