Jack met Diane at a rooftop party in the city—jazz floating in the background, her red dress catching the last rays of sunset like a flame. She was witty, magnetic, and a little dangerous. The kind of woman who looked you dead in the eye and made you feel like you were the only one in the world that mattered.
On their third date, she leaned across the table with a crooked smile and said:
“I’m not a good person, you know.”
Jack laughed. He thought she was joking. He thought it was vulnerability. He told himself everyone has a past.
But Diane wasn’t joking.
Over time, little things shifted. Jack’s friends became “bad influences.” His goals were “naïve.” When he got quiet or questioned her moods, she’d smile and say:
“You’re too sensitive.”
She said it like she was trying to help him. Like she was teaching him how to be stronger. He believed her. At least, at first.
Then came the fights. The silent treatments. The public shaming masked as “just being honest.”
When Jack confronted her after she flirted with his best friend at a dinner party, she shrugged and said:
“You knew what you were getting into.”
Like loving her was a contract with fine print that excused betrayal. Like her behavior wasn’t the problem—his expectations were.
One night, during a walk by the river, Jack opened up about his insecurities. Diane looked at him, unblinking, told him something and said:
“You’d do the same if you were me.”
Jack didn’t know how to respond. The words landed like a fog in his chest. That night, he lay awake wondering if maybe she was right. Maybe he was the problem.
At a family dinner, Diane told a story about manipulating a coworker into doing her project for her. Everyone laughed nervously.
“I like watching people squirm,” she said with a wink. “Makes life more fun.”
Jack froze. Something about that line cracked the illusion.
He remembered the first time she said she wasn’t a good person. He remembered the dismissals, the shifting blame, the twisted logic. And he realized…
It wasn’t love.
It wasn’t partnership.
It was control dressed in charm.
The Break
One quiet morning, Jack wrote a letter. No yelling, no begging, no dramatic scene. Just truth. A goodbye without guilt.
He left the key on the table. Took his dignity, his guitar, and a notebook full of songs he hadn’t written in a year.
And walked out the door.
Epilogue: Jack’s Redemption
Months later, Jack played at a small open mic. The crowd clapped gently as he sang a new song—raw, honest, a little cracked at the edges, like a good whiskey glass.
“This one’s called ‘Red Flags in Lipstick.’ It’s about loving someone who told you the truth from day one… but not in the way you thought.”
He smiled—not the smile of someone who escaped, but someone who finally woke up.
Now listen here—Diane didn’t show up wearing devil horns. She showed up with perfume and promises, with clever words and crocodile tears. And Jack? Well, Jack learned the hard way that when someone tells you who they are… you’d best believe ’em the first time.
Because love shouldn’t feel like walking on eggshells—or sleeping with a snake and calling it a blanket.
Sometimes the bravest thing a man can do isn’t to fight back—but to walk away without turning around.
Let’s expand on each of the five phrases narcissists use—breaking down not just what they mean, but why narcissists say them, how they affect you, and what you can do when you hear them.
1. “I’m not a good person, you know.”
What it means: This is a preemptive confession wrapped in manipulation. It seems like honesty, but it’s actually a psychological trick.
Why narcissists say it: They want to absolve themselves of responsibility before they hurt you. It’s a way of planting the idea that their cruelty is just part of their nature—unchangeable, inevitable, and therefore not their fault.
How it affects you: It lowers your guard and may even make you rationalize or excuse future abuse—“Well, at least they warned me.” It turns the blame onto you for staying.
What to do: Recognize this as an emotional Trojan horse. You’re being conditioned to accept abuse as “part of the deal.” Don’t.
2. “You knew what you were getting into.”
What it means: Blame-shifting disguised as acceptance.
Why narcissists say it: It’s a defense mechanism that turns every argument or confrontation back onto you. They want to rewrite history and make it seem like you signed up for mistreatment.
How it affects you: You start doubting your judgment. You may begin to feel foolish or guilty for trusting them. It’s a way to keep you silent and compliant.
What to do: Reclaim your truth. You didn’t “sign up” to be mistreated. People are allowed to expect respect, kindness, and change when problems arise.
3. “I like watching people squirm.”
What it means: It’s a red flag disguised as a joke.
Why narcissists say it: They often enjoy testing others’ limits and watching them react—it makes them feel powerful. By laughing as they say it, they downplay the threat, but the underlying message is serious.
How it affects you: You might second-guess yourself. “Are they really like that? Or just joking?” That uncertainty is exactly what the narcissist wants—it gives them power over how you interpret reality.
What to do: Trust your gut. Jokes about cruelty aren’t jokes. They’re confessions wearing clown makeup.
4. “You’d do the same if you were me.”
What it means: Projection and justification in one sentence.
Why narcissists say it: They want you to feel like their bad behavior is understandable or even normal. By projecting their mindset onto you, they create false equivalency—you’re just like them, so you can’t judge them.
How it affects you: It can make you feel like the bad guy for even questioning their actions. You may start excusing their behavior or suppressing your own moral standards.
What to do: Don’t accept the projection. You are not them. You wouldn’t do the same. And that difference matters.
5. “You’re too sensitive.”
What it means: This is emotional invalidation—pure and simple.
Why narcissists say it: They want to shut down your feelings and make you question your reactions. If they can convince you that you’re the problem, they don’t have to change.
How it affects you: Over time, you may suppress your emotions, stop speaking up, or even believe that something is wrong with you.
What to do: Reaffirm your reality. Sensitivity isn’t a flaw—it’s a strength. You’re allowed to feel. You’re allowed to speak. Don’t let someone convince you otherwise.
The Wrap-Up:
So if these words sound familiar, don’t go blaming your ears for hearing them—blame the speaker for saying’ them. And when they tell you it’s all in your head, just smile and walk on. Because the truth is, you were never too sensitive—you were just standing too close to someone who mistook kindness for weakness.
And you don’t need to carry that weight one more mile.
BTW, the secret to handling Narcissists, the only secret, is to walk away, and don’t look back. I would say run, but walking away is easier so you don’t stumble. They don’t change and don’t give a crap about you. So don’t worry about them. And never look back, take everything that belong to them and wither return it or throw it away. Get them out of your system. The only reason Narcissists exists is because we let them.
BTW to the BTW, I have never had a narcissists girlfriend that I remember, perhaps I never identified them as such. If they are really good, you may never know. If they see they can’t control you they leave. I have had more than one narcissists business partners, may be one or two that were psychopaths. But that as they say is a story for another day.
IF YOU ENJOYED THIS ONE, TRY THESE:
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