This is the first in a series of guides designed to help you master the art of smart real estate decisions. NO I am not a Realtor and I am not trying to sell anything. I have bought more a few houses, and want you to avoid the pain of buying a bad one.
Most folks will spend more time picking out a new pair of shoes than they will sizing up the house they plan to spend the next thirty years paying for.
A house isn’t just walls and a roof — it’s likely the biggest financial decision a person will ever make, outside of marrying the wrong spouse. And just like with courtship, a little clear-eyed judgment at the start can save you a lifetime of regret.
Spend five honest minutes looking for the ugly truths — the cracks, the leaks, the silent killers — and you might just save yourself fifty thousand dollars, a busted roof, a crooked foundation, and a whole lot of heartache.
The house doesn’t care how excited you are. It either is solid, or it isn’t.
Your job is to know the difference before you fall in love. The trouble with buying a house is that hope blinds faster than sunlight.
You step onto a pretty porch, smell some fresh paint, and suddenly you forget to notice the roof sagging like a hammock. But hope won’t fix a cracked foundation. Dreams don’t pay for flooded basements.
Five minutes of sharp eyes and cold reason — that’s all it takes to separate the sweet-talking losers from the sturdy keepers. A good house will stand proud under a hard look. A bad one will wince and wither if you know what signs to spot.
So take your time, trust your senses, and remember:
A man doesn’t drown by falling in the water — he drowns by staying there.
Same goes for bad houses. Walk away early, and live better later.
🏡 5-Minute House Evaluation Checklist
✅ Before Visiting:
- Check FEMA website to see if house is in a flood zone.
- If yes, check flood insurance cost before visiting.
✅ While Driving to the House:
- Assess neighborhood vibe:
- Are neighbors’ homes well maintained?
- Garbage, clutter, or junk in yards?
- Bad odors like sewage smells?
- Excessive noise or nearby factories?
- Drive around the neighborhood, don’t just go straight to the house.
✅ When Arriving (Curbside View):
- Check curb appeal:
- Lawn maintained?
- Exterior paint fresh or faded?
- Cracks in driveway or walkway?
- Look for big trees (especially oaks):
- Are branches hanging over house (“widow makers”)?
- Check for wide-spreading roots on the ground.
- Check for potential tree root damage to sewer lines.
- Look at the roof from driveway:
- Sagging roof?
- Missing or curled shingles?
- Faded, cracked, or old-looking roof?
- Wavy or uneven appearance (could mean compromised structure)?
✅ Walk Around the Outside:
- Gutters:
- Proper slope?
- No water pooled around foundation?
- Grading:
- Ground slopes away from the house?
- No water funneling toward the foundation?
- Foundation:
- No horizontal or large cracks?
- No obvious settlement issues?
- Check for sinkhole activity in the area (lots of settlement issues = red flag).
- Walk around entire house twice (clockwise and counterclockwise).
- Check the windows:
- Frame type (wood, vinyl, aluminum)?
- Rot or deterioration?
- Are windows single pane or older inefficient ones?
- Any signs of water damage around frames?
- Consider cost of replacing with impact/hurricane windows if needed.
✅ Inside the House:
- Check front door:
- Opens and closes smoothly?
- Seals tight (no sunlight visible through gaps)?
- Door frame level and square?
- Odor test:
- Moldy, musty, cigarette smell?
- Excessive air fresheners or plugins hiding odors?
- Ceilings and corners:
- Any cracks or signs of past water leaks?
- Water stains, especially in closets?
- Floor inspection:
- Walk perimeter and center of each room.
- Listen/feel for squeaks, soft spots, unevenness.
- Electrical panel:
- Check brand (Federal Pacific, Zinsco, Sylvania = red flags).
- Check if breakers look mismatched or outdated.
- Outlets:
- Are there two-prong outlets (indicates older, ungrounded wiring)?
- Air Conditioner (AC):
- Look at outside condenser:
- Rust, corrosion, or visible damage?
- Check serial number to determine age (usually first 2 digits or 3rd/4th digit).
- Inspect indoor air handler:
- Signs of black spots (mold) or corrosion?
- Look at outside condenser:
- Water pressure:
- Turn on faucets in bathrooms and kitchen.
- Check under sinks for leaks or corrosion.
- Attic inspection (if accessible):
- Peek inside for:
- Cloth wiring?
- Open junction boxes?
- Signs of leaks or pests?
- Peek inside for:
✅ Bonus Tip:
- Prefer block construction over wood frame (especially in Florida).
- Block homes are more durable, resist termites, and better for storms.
- How to tell quickly:
- Flush windows = likely wood frame.
- Recessed windows = likely block construction.
- If wood frame:
- Plan to get a WDO (wood destroying organism) inspection (termite inspection).
🎯 Final Advice
Remember, you’re not just buying four walls and a roof — you’re buying a lifestyle, a risk level, and future costs.
Use this checklist to stay sharp, protect your emotions, and focus on the critical bones of the property: structure, roof, drainage, plumbing, electrical, HVAC.
A beautiful kitchen can’t fix a cracked foundation. A fancy bathroom won’t save you from a sagging roof.
Inspect first, fall in love later.
The more houses you walk through with a clear, disciplined eye, the faster you’ll spot hidden problems — and the better your decisions will be.
Every bad house teaches you how to find the good ones faster. Trust the process.
Buying a house is like dating to get married — you want to see all your options, spot the red flags early, and make a smart choice. Because once you say yes, you’ll be sleeping there for a long, long time.
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