“Nothing is easier than self-deceit. For what each man wishes, that he also believes to be true.” — Demosthenes
If you want to watch the human mind make a fool of itself, just hand it a mirror and a dream. The mirror will show the lines around the eyes, the thinning hair, the debts piling up. But the dream will whisper, “Don’t worry, friend. Tomorrow you’ll strike it rich. Tomorrow you’ll be famous. Tomorrow you’ll beat the odds.” And so, against all evidence, we bet the farm, the family, and sometimes even the body count on that shining tomorrow.
Self-deceit is mankind’s favorite pastime. It beats baseball, football, and poker combined. It’s the reason a man will marry his fifth wife thinking, “This one is different.” It’s why politicians keep promising utopia with a straight face, while we nod along like trained seals. It’s why a gambler rolls the dice one more time, swearing the universe owes him a win. And it’s why investors, drunk on their own brilliance, keep shoving money into bubbles that are bound to burst — dot-com, real estate, crypto, AI — take your pick. Each time the story is the same: “This time is different. It will all work out in the end.” That’s not wisdom talking. That’s wishful thinking with a megaphone.
The ego, of course, is the ringleader in this circus. It doesn’t care about truth; it only cares about being right. So it sends reason out the back door and lets rationalization take the stage. Rationalization is that smooth-talking lawyer in your head who can turn any bad decision into a noble crusade. It’s how crowds of sane people turn insane together, chanting the same nonsense until even the doubters nod along. Herd madness can make folks line up for tulip bulbs as if they were gold bars, or follow demagogues into wars, or cheer when the dice come up snake eyes. Crowd madness is just self-deceit with backup singers.
And sometimes, the self-deception grows darker. A person convinces themselves they are the only one who can solve a problem — by ending another life. They dress it up as duty, necessity, destiny. The politician must go, the former lover must pay. They make their plan, polish their excuses, and wrap their intent in a cloak of inevitability: “I had no choice.” But that, too, is just another story they’ve sold themselves. It’s the same self-deceit, only sharpened to a blade.
So what’s the lesson? It’s simple, but not easy. Recognize when you’re selling yourself a dream. Question the story that feels too good. When the crowd is rushing in, take a step back. Remember that risk doesn’t vanish just because everyone else pretends it does. In markets, in politics, in life — the “sure thing” is usually a mirage painted by your own desires.
Demosthenes had it right over two thousand years ago: we’re all experts at lying to ourselves. The trick isn’t to stop the lies — that’s impossible. The trick is to catch yourself in the act before you mortgage your soul to them. Because whether it’s a bubble in stocks or a fever in the streets, self-deceit is always the most expensive gamble of all.
A Personal and Serious Note
If you ever have the urge or thought to kill yourself or someone else — step back. Make yourself a cup of coffee. Realize you’re traveling down a one-way street that you don’t want to be stuck on. Please talk to someone. Here are numbers you can call:
- In the U.S., dial 988 for the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline.
- If outside the U.S., check findahelpline.com, which lists numbers worldwide.
Taking the next steps in that moment will affect the rest of your life. Most times, it is not your fault — but there is a reason, and you have to find it.
Personally, during COVID, I twice had sudden thoughts of wanting to end my life. Later it was discovered that a medication I was taking for my chest carried a side effect of suicidal thoughts. That taught me something important: sometimes the darkest thoughts aren’t you, they’re a trick of the body or mind. Please don’t make a permanent choice for a temporary problem.:
No Way Out…
I’m going to tell you five stories. All true, though the names are not. They all end the same way: with a gunshot, a headline, and the echo of people saying, “I never saw it coming.”
-
Frank — a man in his fifties, worth more money than most folks could dream of. He owned half a town in rental houses, and the other half in shiny office buildings. But when the real estate market turned, he decided stress was a disease worse than death. Instead of selling off, retiring rich, and living by the sea, he checked himself out early. He was still a millionaire on the day he died — but he convinced himself he was broke.
-
Joe — a working man who built his life brick by brick. Homes, rentals, a family, three daughters. One day his wife said she loved another man. Joe couldn’t stand the thought of losing her, so he took her life, then his own, and left his daughters with no parents. He thought he was solving a problem; all he did was multiply the wreckage.
-
Linda — she lost her job in the morning, her husband the month before. She still had a teenage daughter who needed her more than ever. But Linda thought she had “no way out.” Her daughter came home to find her mother’s body in the backyard. The girl will live with that picture longer than most people live at all.
-
Kevin — a man who made a living selling satellites but couldn’t keep his own life in orbit. Booze, drugs, breakups, bad luck. One night, drunk, he picked a fight with the Florida Highway Patrol. The cop got hurt. Kevin faced ten years. He got into another fight in jail and didn’t live long enough to see a trial. His “no way out” ended with no way forward.
-
Marina — someone many of my friends knew on social media. Just in her twenties, with hundreds of friends, a bright career ahead, and her whole life in front of her. But she got tired of living because things weren’t going the way she wanted. No scandal, no big disaster, just a quiet despair. When she died, it was a shock that nobody saw coming.
Now, what do these people all have in common? They fooled themselves. They told themselves stories so convincing they believed them. Stories about shame, loss, betrayal, failure, disappointment. They thought they were trapped, but the trap was in their heads. Frank could have retired rich. Joe could have walked away. Linda could have rebuilt. Kevin could have sobered up. Marina could have waited out the storm and found brighter days. They all had choices. But self-deceit whispered in their ear, “You have none.” And when they listened, life punished them in the harshest way.
And here’s something else they all shared: they didn’t give a damn about anyone else. Not their wives, not their children, not their friends, not the strangers who loved them from afar. They were selfish. They made their pain everyone else’s inheritance. That’s the cruelest trick of self-deceit — it convinces you that your story ends with you, when in truth it echoes through every life around you.
Don’t make a permanent choice for a temporary problem. The surest way out isn’t down — it’s through.
© 2025 insearchofyourpassions.com - Some Rights Reserve - This website and its content are the property of YNOT. This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International License. You are free to share and adapt the material for any purpose, even commercially, as long as you give appropriate credit, provide a link to the license, and indicate if changes were made.
