America, my friends, is a land of many wonders. We have more varieties of potato chips than some nations have laws, more reality shows than we have reality, and—most impressively—we have enough intelligence agencies to make a paranoid feel downright justified. Eighteen of them, to be exact.

Yes, in the great wisdom of our republic, we did not settle for just one shadowy cabal peering into the world’s secrets—we built a whole league of them. Nine answer to the Department of Defense, two to Homeland Security, two to Justice, and even the Department of Energy gets its own set of spies (presumably to ensure we don’t build nuclear-powered toasters). Then there’s one for the State Department, a lone and mysterious agency that answers to no department at all, and—like the captain of this clandestine ship—one central agency that coordinates the whole affair.

Now, before you start imagining a nation teeming with James Bonds in tuxedos, gliding across rooftops with laser watches, let me put your mind at ease. The cold, hard truth is that intelligence work is about as thrilling as a government accounting exam. Less than 1% of CIA agents are assassins—though I’m sure that won’t stop Hollywood from pretending otherwise. The other 99%? Nerds. Analysts. Bureaucrats buried under mountains of classified paperwork, parsing through reports to decide whether a grain shipment in Moldova is suspicious or just late. If you ever meet an intelligence officer, chances are they’ll be wearing a wrinkled suit and a caffeine dependency, not wielding a silenced pistol in some glamorous European casino.

Why so many agencies? Well, dear reader, if you ask them, each has its purpose. If you ask me, bureaucracy breeds like rabbits, and once a committee takes root in Washington, it’s harder to remove than a tick on a stray cat. But for all their numbers, their purpose remains singular: to peer into the darkness and whisper secrets to those who hold the reins of power. Whether those whispers are heard—or, heaven forbid, understood—is another matter entirely.

So congratulations, to Tulsi Gabbard—this labyrinth of 18 intelligence agencies is now yours to herd like stray cats. And a heart felt good luck, because coordinating this shadowy circus is going to feel like it. Watch your back, as you know you can’t trust any of them..

America’s 18 Intelligence Agencies

#	Agency	Abbreviation	Founded	Location	Director (2025)	Approx. Employees	Budget (Est.)	Primary Focus	Parent Organization	Mission
1	Office of the Director of National Intelligence	ODNI	2005	McLean, VA	Tulsi Gabbard	~1,750	~$3B	Coordination & Oversight	Independent	Coordinates intelligence efforts, publishes the Presidential Daily Brief.
2	Air Force Intelligence	AF ISR	1948	Joint Base San Antonio, TX	Lt. Gen. Leah G. Lauderback	~10,000	~$10B	Aerial Surveillance & Cyber	DoD	Surveillance, reconnaissance, cyber & electronic warfare.
3	Army Intelligence	INSCOM	1776	Fort Belvoir, VA	Maj. Gen. Michele H. Bredenkamp	~17,500	~$12B	Military Intelligence	DoD	Multi-discipline intelligence, security operations.
4	Central Intelligence Agency	CIA	1947	Langley, VA	John Ratcliffe	~21,500	~$18B	HUMINT & Covert Ops	Independent	Foreign intelligence, covert operations.
5	Coast Guard Intelligence	CGI	1950	Washington, D.C.	Rear Adm. Andrew S. Sugimoto	~1,100	~$1B	Maritime Intelligence	DHS	Maritime intelligence, Homeland Security.
6	Defense Intelligence Agency	DIA	1961	Washington, D.C.	Lt. Gen. Scott D. Berrier	~16,500	~$10B	Military Intelligence	DoD	Military intelligence, surveillance, reconnaissance.
7	National Geospatial-Intelligence Agency	NGA	2005	Fort Belvoir, VA & St. Louis, MO	Vice Adm. Frank D. Whitworth III	~14,500	~$15B	Geospatial & Satellite Imagery	DoD	Geospatial intelligence (satellite imagery, mapping).
8	National Reconnaissance Office	NRO	1961	Chantilly, VA	Dr. Christopher Scolese	~3,000	~$20B	Satellite Reconnaissance	DoD	Space reconnaissance, satellite intelligence.
9	National Security Agency	NSA	1952	Fort Meade, MD	Gen. Paul M. Nakasone	~40,000	~$20B	Signals Intelligence (SIGINT) & Cyber	DoD	Signals intelligence, cyber operations.
10	Space Delta 18 (U.S. Space Force Intelligence)	SD-18	2022	Wright-Patterson AFB, OH	Col. Marqus Randall	~500	~$1B	Space Intelligence & Defense	DoD	Space domain security, satellite defense.
11	Homeland Security Intelligence & Analysis	I&A	2002	Washington, D.C.	Ken Wainstein	~1,000	~$3B	Domestic Threat Intelligence	DHS	Provides intelligence to state/local agencies.
12	Drug Enforcement Administration – Office of National Security Intelligence	DEA-ONSI	1973	Arlington, VA	Louis J. Milione	~1,500	~$2B	Narco-Terrorism	DOJ	Narco-terrorism, drug-related intelligence.
13	Federal Bureau of Investigation – National Security Branch	FBI-NSB	2005	Washington, D.C.	Charles “Paul” Abbate	~35,000	~$10B	Counterintelligence & Terrorism	DOJ	Counterterrorism, counterintelligence.
14	Department of Energy – Office of Intelligence & Counterintelligence	DOE-OICI	1977	Washington, D.C.	Dr. Kimberly A. Budil	~1,500	~$2B	Nuclear Intelligence	DOE	Protects nuclear secrets.
15	Department of State – Bureau of Intelligence & Research	INR	1945	Washington, D.C.	Brett M. Holmgren	~300	~$1B	Diplomatic Intelligence	DOS	Diplomacy-focused intelligence.
16	Department of the Treasury – Office of Terrorism & Financial Intelligence	TFI	1961	Washington, D.C.	Shannon Corless	~1,200	~$2B	Financial Intelligence	DOT	Monitors financial crime, terrorist funding.
17	Marine Corps Intelligence Activity	MCIA	2000	Quantico, VA	Brig. Gen. Dimitri Henry	~1,000	~$1B	Tactical Intelligence	DoD	Tactical intelligence for Marine operations.
18	Office of Naval Intelligence	ONI	1882	Suitland, MD	Rear Adm. Michael A. Brookes	~3,000	~$3B	Maritime Intelligence	DoD	Maritime intelligence for U.S. Navy

The Total U.S. Intelligence Budget is usually around $80–$90 billion annually, To put it in perspective, with a budget of $90 billion, you could buy approximately 6 Ford-class aircraft carriers and 3 Virginia-class nuclear submarines with the remaining funds every year.
With very little in checks and balance, and most items being somewhat classified there is plenty opportunity for money getting lost.

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