When I was young and a little too eager for my own good, I’d wander into open houses like a stray dog looking for a new home. I’d find a place I liked, talk to the real estate agent, and—like clockwork—they’d hit me with the line: “We’ve already got a full-price offer,” or “Someone’s coming in this afternoon with a cash bid, so if you’re serious, you’d better come in strong.” And like a fool with a checkbook and a dream, I believed them.
I didn’t know then what I know now—that most of the time, they were more than bluffing, they were making it up, lying. Not all of them, mind you. I’m not painting every agent with the same brush. Just a few, here and there, playing poker with a deck full of Jokers. And the kicker? It’s not even illegal. Just business. Just “strategy.”
And you know what? That kind of bluffing isn’t just for selling houses. It’s everywhere—on the sales floor, in the boardroom, international tariff negotiations or at your cousin’s used car lot behind the Waffle House. Folks smile, shake hands, and lie right through their teeth because, well, that’s the game. Wall Street could not exist without people basically lying about future earnings.
That’s the lesson: when you’re negotiating, remember the other fella across the table might be charming, might be offering you coffee, but he’s not your buddy—he’s your competitor. And if he can get you to spend more or sell for less with a well-timed fib, he’ll sleep just fine that night.
Now, I won’t talk about Trump—except to say the man didn’t just “write” The Art of the Deal; he seems to be drafting a sequel called The Art of the Fake Deal. And whatever you think of him, you’ve got to admit—it’s selling.
As for me, I’ve always been a little too honest, and that probably cost me a few dollars. But it earned me something better: trust. Especially from investors. Could I have made more money by bending the truth? Probably. But I sleep just fine knowing I never had to keep track of which lies I told last week because I can’t remember anyway.
What Is a Fake Deal?
A fake deal isn’t necessarily illegal—it’s just not what it seems. It might be:
- A memorandum of understanding (MOU) that’s all fluff, no funding.
- A strategic partnership announced with great fanfare that quietly dissolves without a trace.
- A non-binding letter of intent signed to boost a stock price, impress a board, or distract from a scandal.
It’s the business equivalent of saying “we’re talking about getting married” to pump your dating profile.
Why Fake Deals Happen
- Stock Market Theater – Public companies love the optics of momentum. A splashy deal announcement can send shares soaring—even if the deal never closes.
- Negotiation Leverage – Pretending you’ve got a better offer in hand can move the needle with a real partner.
- Distraction & Deflection – When you can’t show results, show potential. It’s the corporate magician’s misdirection: “Look over here!”
- Ego & Image Management – Executives love being seen as dealmakers. A fake deal can buy temporary prestige.
How to Spot a Fake Deal
- Buzzwords over details: “synergy,” “disruption,” “strategic alignment”—but no clear plan or numbers.
- No money down: If nobody’s putting up real cash, it’s probably vapor.
- Pattern of announcements with no follow-up: Some companies survive off press releases alone.
- Unnamed partners or deals “subject to regulatory approval” that never comes.
Famous Examples (Allegedly)
- WeWork’s early IPO hype was built on wild valuations, questionable partnerships, and grandiose projections.
- SPAC-mania (2020–2021) saw countless companies announce “mergers” with private firms, most of which collapsed or never delivered.
- Elon Musk’s “funding secured” tweet—a masterclass in how a sentence can move billions (and cause a $40 million SEC fine).
The Real Damage
Fake deals are not victimless:
- They waste investor and employee trust.
- They distort markets.
- They create bubbles.
- They erode real business values like integrity, transparency, and accountability.
The Real Lesson
In a world of fakes, your real deal will shine—but only if you resist the urge to inflate, exaggerate, and embellish. Long-term trust beats short-term buzz. If you want to play the game, fine—but don’t sell the scoreboard.
Lying is lying. I always say—if you’re going to lie, at least have the decency to be honest with yourself about it. The real danger isn’t in fooling others—it’s when you start believing your own nonsense. That’s when the line between ambition and delusion gets real blurry. Elon Musk, cough cough.
In the end, the world doesn’t need more deals—it needs more truth. But truth doesn’t always close fast, and it rarely comes with a signing bonus. The fake deal, on the other hand, is fast, flashy, and flattering. It’s the carnival barker of capitalism, promising a miracle for the price of your good sense.
So the next time someone says, “You’d better act fast, there’s a lot of interest,” smile politely, check your wallet, and ask yourself one thing: Is this a deal… or just a very expensive illusion wrapped in urgency?
And remember—if someone’s selling the Brooklyn Bridge or a stock with a very high PE, sometimes it is better to walkway. As J.P. Morgan once said, “I’d rather lose an opportunity than lose capital.” And I’d add: especially when the opportunity was dressed up in glitter, smoke, and a fake signatures.
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