Spiritual love is simple—let folks be who they are and love them anyway; it’s only hard because people are involved. - YNOT!
Many people assume you can’t have a truly spiritual relationship with another human being. If we’re flesh and blood, the thinking goes, then all bonds must be purely physical or psychological. So we end up anthropomorphizing the invisible—spirits, angels, departed loved ones—because we forget that a spiritual relationship with living people is possible.
For such a relationship, a few prerequisites matter:
- Intention — We all bring preconceived aims and interests. Name them honestly.
- Free will — Can we really allow others to choose what we wouldn’t choose?
- Non-judgment — We will judge; the task is to notice it and loosen our grip. By whose standards, if not our own?
- No blame — Harder still, especially when actions have consequences.
- Acceptance — Once we see who the other is, do we still wish to share in their inner life?
Here’s the rub: as humans, consistently living all five is brutally hard. Possible? Yes. Easy? No. Perhaps the closest example is a mother’s love for her child—yet even that often strains against intention and free will. Husbands and wives may manage intention and non-judgment at times, but free will and blame are frequent casualties. Sometimes all that survives is intention and a thin acceptance.
How do we practice all five? Maybe it’s effortless if we’re reborn on another world with no baggage. But here, by adulthood, we’re hauling trunks of prejudice—hand-me-downs from parents, schools, friends, lovers, religions, and culture.
So what’s practical? Get a dog or a cat; they’ll tutor you in unconditional presence. Or seek a person who keeps a healthy distance from the noise of the world. Because people—busy, wounded, opinionated as we are—can be the antithesis of spiritual clarity.
There it is: simple, not easy.
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