Think of it as Yoga for the brain, we are going to stretch a bit.
YOU HAVE EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO BECOME THE BEST PERSON YOU CAN BE — AND HERE IS THE PROOF
You are not your statistics, your mistakes, or your circumstances. Success begins when you stop asking what life gave you and start asking what you can build with it. --YNOT
STOP LISTENING TO EXCUSES.
I recently read a debate about successful Black women, income statistics, college degrees, racial disparities, generational wealth, and all the reasons some people have a harder road than others.
And yes, some people absolutely start life with advantages that others do not.
Life is not fair. It never has been.
But somewhere along the way, we started making a serious mistake.
We began confusing having obstacles with having no control over your future.
Those are not the same thing. Look at people who have accomplished extraordinary things.
Oprah Winfrey.
Serena Williams.
Tiger Woods.
Rihanna.
Ursula Burns.
Katherine Johnson.
Different backgrounds. Different opportunities. Different talents. Different obstacles.
Yet there is something important they share:
They did not spend their lives waiting for somebody else to give them permission to become extraordinary.
But here is something even more important.
You do not have to become Oprah.
You do not have to become a billionaire.
You do not have to become famous.
You do not have to own the biggest house.
You do not need a college degree to prove your worth.
And you certainly do not have to beat everybody else.
You have to become the best version of YOU that you are capable of becoming.
That requires something nobody can hand you.
Work. Learn something. Practice something. Build something.
Try something. Fail. Get back up. Try again.
Find someone who knows more than you and learn from them.
And when somebody tells you, “You can’t,” do not automatically believe them.
Sometimes people are not describing your limitations.
They are describing their own.
HARD WORK DOESN’T GUARANTEE EVERYTHING
We should also be honest about something.
Hard work does not guarantee that you will become wealthy.
It does not guarantee that you will become famous.
It does not guarantee that you will become the CEO, the champion, the inventor, or the billionaire.
There are people who work incredibly hard their entire lives and never become rich.
There are also people born into tremendous wealth who accomplish very little.
Luck matters. Family matters. Circumstances matter. Education matters.
Who you meet can matter. Timing can matter.
But none of those things completely determine what you do with the life you have.
That part is still yours. And that distinction matters.
Recognizing an obstacle is intelligence.
Understanding an obstacle is wisdom. Working around an obstacle is strategy.
Turning the obstacle into a permanent explanation for everything that happens to you is something very different.
I HAVE BEEN RICH AND POOR
I have been rich and poor more than once.
I have made money. I have lost money.
I have had opportunities and taken advantage of them.
I have also had opportunities and completely screwed them up.
I have had to start over. More than once.
And eventually I learned something that took me a long time to understand:
Money is not the same thing as success. Money can certainly make life easier.
It can give you choices. It can give you security. It can buy experiences.
It can solve many problems.
But if you spend your entire life chasing money, you can become financially wealthy while becoming poor in everything else that matters.
Poor in time. Poor in freedom. Poor in relationships. Poor in curiosity.
Poor in experiences. Poor in the ability to simply enjoy your own life.
What good is becoming wealthy if you never have time for the people you love?
What good is owning a giant house if you hate going home?
What good is earning millions if every hour of your life belongs to somebody else?
MY DEFINITION OF SUCCESS CHANGED
I do not need to own the biggest house anymore.
I enjoy mowing my grass. I enjoy pulling weeds.
I enjoy working on my boat. I enjoy talking to people.
I enjoy learning something I did not know yesterday.
I enjoy traveling. I enjoy sitting down with someone I care about and having a conversation.
I have already had more experiences than I ever imagined I would have.
And I am still curious about what comes next.
That is success too.
Maybe the greatest mistake we make is allowing somebody else to define what winning is supposed to look like.
Maybe winning is not having the biggest bank account.
Maybe it is having enough. Maybe it is having freedom.
Maybe it is raising good children. Maybe it is building something.
Maybe it is helping somebody. Maybe it is traveling the world.
Maybe it is having enough time on a Tuesday afternoon to sit outside and enjoy your own backyard.
You get to decide.
YOU ARE NOT YOUR STATISTICS
When somebody tells you that your circumstances make success impossible, listen carefully.
They may be identifying a real obstacle.
If they are, understand it. Study it.
Work around it. Challenge it when necessary.
Fight it when necessary.
But do not turn an obstacle into an identity.
Do not allow somebody to convince you that you are permanently defined by the circumstances into which you were born.
You are not your statistics.
You are not your ZIP code.
You are not your parents.
You are not your bank account.
You are not your college degree.
You are not your job title.
You are not the mistakes you made yesterday.
And you are certainly not somebody else’s expectations of you.
You have a brain. You have time. You can learn. You can practice. You can adapt.
You can build. You can create. You can ask questions.
You can change direction. You can get better.
And most importantly, you can decide what kind of person you want to become.
MAYBE YOU WON’T BECOME A BILLIONAIRE
So what?
Become someone you respect. Become someone your children respect.
Become someone who keeps their word.
Become someone who learns. Become someone who helps others.
Become someone who gets knocked down and gets back up.
Become someone who does not need an excuse every time something goes wrong.
Become someone who can look in the mirror and say:
I did something with the life I was given.
Because one of the greatest forms of freedom is not having everything handed to you.
It is realizing that you have more control over your life than you thought you did.
The world will always give you reasons why you cannot do something.
Some of those reasons will be nonsense. Some will be fear.
Some will come from people who gave up on themselves a long time ago.
And yes, some of those obstacles will be completely legitimate.
Recognize the difference.
But never allow a legitimate obstacle to become a permanent excuse.
